90 Days in Detox

My daughter is utterly exasperated with me.  "Mom!  All you ever want to do is pull the weeds out of the garden!  Why don't we ever plant anything?"

And this, my friend, is telling.  It's been this way for as long as I can remember.  Try as I might, I seem to be stuck in the 'preparation' phase of most everything.

Sometimes, there's just not a nice way to go about a situation.  Sometimes, a desperate battle calls for desperate measures.

So I've mulled over this concept of 90 days...  90 Days With a Heart Like His by Beth Moore; P90X; 90 days in Detox.

Just thinking about giving up my sacred cows motivated me to eat Ben & Jerry's Phish Food.  This while reading the book selection for this month's book club chosen by one of the sweet, sweet gals in our group, Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge.  I started the book last night.  Book club is tomorrow. 

I need some serious intervention, Folks.  I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. 

The most alarming part of this scenario is that after I finished off the entire carton of ice cream I promptly buried it within the contents of the recycle bag so that no one would discover what I had done.  Yes, I was immediately convicted about this matter of deceit.  (I will confess this to my family tonight... after they get home from church... where they went while I stayed at home to veg.  Isn't there a story like this about a king who stayed at home while he was supposed to be on the battlefront and then he, too, gives into a temptation that leads to adultery, deceit, and eventually, murder?  Lord, have mercy!  This destructive path is not the path I want to be on!)

I'm checking myself into my own self-prescribed metaphorical detox tomorrow.  I've never been in detox, so I really don't know what to expect.  Since it's "outpatient" detox I think the challenges will be slightly more difficult than they would, say, if I were I able to actually check into an institution.  But, again, I'm speaking from inexperience.

Somewhere along the way I became lackadaisical about my identity and my authority.  Now I want it back.  And I'm willing to go to battle for it.

"And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force."  Matthew 11:12

Crazy passage, if you ask me.  Brutal.  Brutally honest.  And yet, this is exactly what touches me to the core of my being.  I hear this message loud and clear: Listen, the temptations and hollow indulgences you seek to numb the agonizing fears that paralyze you and keep you from daring to live the destiny that God has planned for you... you're going to have to be more forceful... stronger.  The kingdom of heaven isn't going to be handed to you.  You'll have to take it by force.

Darn.  I was kind of hoping for a pleasant stroll through the park -- with another carton of ice cream, please.


**At the end of 90 days, I want to see fruit from seeds planted!  My daughter is right... it's time to plant.