Nevertheless

From a blog I started last year... wrote one post... and then never returned (except once in April when I went back and edited the post I wrote when I started the blog originally):

One letter. Word. Sentence. The tumbling and rolling into a lyrical life.  

Create a story.

Your story. 

Breathe in. Exhale. 

I can hear the ticking of the clock. The seconds rolling into minutes until they all tumble into the stack we call a day. 

The fibers of my being are comfortable. I live in Average Land where life is convenient, entertaining, secure. It's recliner chair cozy. 

And for all this, I'm grateful. Beyond grateful. So much so that I could simply curl up with my cup of tea and a good book and wile away the hours. Is this livin' the dream? I think it is. 

As I type this, my family is still asleep. For this moment at least, the universe revolves around me. 

So I sit down at the laptop, pull up my inbox on the screen, and there... there's something about an earthquake? They're asking for help. For relief. 

It is reported that thousands are expected dead. The devastation came while  we ate dinner with friends last night and I lamented that the spaghetti turned out a bit dry because the ratio of pasta to sauce went awry. And I apologized for not having a salad to serve with the meal. 

365 days. The annual reports and goals and all that we have to resolve in the span of 525,600 minutes. 

Comfortable is not the same as fulfilled. The game changes if we want to go to that level of living.  

It's no longer a recliner chair mentality. It'll require something more. A lot of something more. 

The words and sentences change. The story tells differently. The world tilts on it's axis and my breath catches while my feet find their footing in the shift from comfortable to stepping into the tension.

Originally posted on 365 Days to Health and Wealth. Ha! A blog I started in Autumn of 2014... approximately 365 days ago. And then I got scared. So I frittered away the seconds while playing small. Safe.

Bah, humbug to change and breaking out of bondage and challenging the status quo. It's too hard, I told myself, settling back in my recliner with my hot fudge ice cream and books about other's lives.

Earthquakes shake and wild fires rage. Time and cadence usher in Independence Day fireworks. Customers stand in line for a minimum of two hours at the newly opened Southern chicken restaurant here on the military base. The movie Ant-Man grossed over $57 million in it's opening weekend. They're always looking for more volunteers in the nursery and school age room at church every weekend. Back-to-school sales start (where I meant to pick up packs of lined paper for 11 cents...). And the latest movie by the Kendrick brothers, War Room, brought in over $11 million its opening weekend.

Random. Like the boy pedaling his bicycle hard in the African heat, carrying cases of Coca-Cola from the city out to the villages in the Bush. This while in a conversation about women who die during childbirth because it's too far to walk to the nearest clinic.

And it can all get a bit daunting. So I second guess a 365-Day project of surrender because it most likely means the hard work of discipline and consistency. Of training on the days I'm not in the mood. And it holds all the possibility of vulnerability. Transparency. And all those other ideals I would much rather talk about than live out.

We're dreaming big ridiculous dreams around here. But I tell ya what, the risks and challenges and obstacles...

Is it just me? Or does everyone get afraid when chasing after dreams that are entirely possible?

Like today when I had a meltdown smack dab in the middle of a rather productive writing stint. On an awesome 4-day track record of saying no to unhealthy and yes to premium fuel for my body. When suddenly I went on some irrational binge to waste time and make chocolate chip cookies, eating cookie dough by the spoonfuls. Yeah, that there.

I read this morning where Jesus tells Simon Peter to let down the nets. Except, Simon and his buddies were out fishing all night and... well, I should just let him tell it himself, "'Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.'" (emphasis mine)

They did.

Caught so many fish that they called to their friends to bring their boat and help haul in the catch.

Both boats started to sink under the weight of the fish.

When they got back to shore... "So when they had brought their boats to land, they forsook all and followed Him." (Luke 5:1-11)

I relate to Simon Peter's little explanation where he implies that it's ridiculous to let down the nets. I can hear the weariness in his voice. After all, who can blame him? They toiled all night and caught nothing.

Lord, they're saying it's thousands who've been affected by the earthquake. It's more trendy to wait in line for chicken and watch movies based on fantastical protagonists. And besides, I'm only one person. What can I possibly do to improve living conditions in developing countries? And the people right here in my little sphere of influence? Heh. They're good. They'll let me know if something comes up.

Nevertheless...

And I can hear Mary's voice, "Do whatever He says," as the party-goers are unaware that the wine has just run out, but the best is yet to come.

Fulfillment comes at a cost.

Nevertheless...

There's more.

No more Recliner Chair "faith."

In theory, I'm a risk-taker. Time to experiment with those theories. Though the boats were laden with fish, they didn't sink. "...when they had brought their boats to land..."

     "...they forsook all..."

beep - - - beep... (I hear the trace of a flat line getting it's beat back...)

          "...and followed Him." beep-beep-beep...